soft.and.gentle

As I had promised, I am providing my multitude of readers (well, Jenny and Miles) with a post about how Guam is indeed still birdless.
I am giving all you wonderful people the opportunity to join Jenny and I over Spring Break, when we will bring life and sustenance to our dear friend Guam.
Guam has in fact been neglect of all bird life for years. Back during WWII, Americans "snuck" Brown Tree Snakes to Guam. Well, as horny snakes do, they reproduced and multiplied. And as fate would have it, their main source of food is the bird. In turn, there was nothing left to eat the insects. Guam is currently in a sad state, it is overwrought with spiders and snakes. There is not a single bird left...not even a little one. Now I know some of you are saying "Even birds die? Yes, even birds."
I believe, as the dominating life force, we are the only ones who can do anything about this situation. So, here is the plan (it's completely TOP SECRET):
Jenny and I...and whomever else takes pity on us, will go to the pet store, and purchase a crap load of birds. We will then board our plane with birds in tow, this is the tricky part. One has to be stealth and inconspicuous. As long as you can twirl your hair and pout your lips, you'll be fine.
Once in Guam, we will release of flying friends into the wild. This is where we need male assistance. THE SNAKES MUST DIE FOR THEIR SINS. The job of the boys is to dispose of the snakes while Jenny and I sip lemonade and tan. We will then enjoy the calming water and gentle breeze.
That's it...not too bad, huh?! It'll be a fun,little journey, and we will be helping our fellow mammals.
Let me know if you're interested. Meanwhile, if you are like me, and feel such overwhelming sadness about this situation, you can help even without accompanying us to Guam: http://www.rspb.org.uk