soft.and.gentle

I know that I haven't written in awhile and my audience (aka: Jenny) is getting ansy. Well I would have posted yesterday...but I couldn't think of anything good to write about. I had a few awesome suggestions, like "Why porn is all the same" (thanks Jenny) and "Save the statues from acid rain" (thanks Catie), but I just couldn't seem to get into either one of those. So this morning as I was straightening my hair I was thinking that I really need to post...WHAT SHOULD I WRITE?! All I could come up with is "How did I spend my weekend?" OMG~That is so eighth grade journal. But that is honestly all I could come up with. So here is How I Spent my Weekend. Brought to you by Megan:
Friday started off typically, I was slightly stressed because I couldn't decide if I should go to the Republican convention thing, with all the CRs and my mom. My mom had initially wanted to spend Friday night in my dorm, so she didn't have to pay for a hotel room, and Miles had mentioned going to Big Stone City this weekend. I had earlier in the week told Miles that BSC would be no prob, because Mom would leave at 7 AM on Saturday to head back to S.F. Sometime during the latter part of the week, Miles had come to the decision that BSC would be a lot of hassle, since we both had enormous amounts of homework, and he hated to go there on Sat. and come back on Sun. I knew that he really wanted to go, because Bryce was putting a lot of pressure on him, and was really upset that he wasn't coming back. Miles likes to keep people happy, which is perfectly understandable, I don't like people to be upset with me either. So, Friday afternoon we were laying on my bed and I told Miles that I wanted to go to BSC. He inquired as to why I wanted to go, and I told him I could to my homework there and we could spend time with the family. Plus, as an extra bonus we could surprise Bryce and Tony. After we had made the decision, despite many protests from Miles, I called my mom and informed her that I would not be attending the Republican convention (yes, audience, I sacrificed seeing Eric and Nic, don't hate me), and she was welcome to use my dorm on Friday night. Miles decided he should call his mom/dad to let them in on the surprise. He wanted me to act like a telemarketer, but I knew I wouldn't be able to as effectively as he could, so he did it. Once on the phone with Paula, they discussed plans and times, and then how Bryce was feeling about Miles not coming to BSC (he blames "Yoko"). *sigh*
Saturday: I arrived at Miles' all packed and ready. We then went to China Moon to eat, before hitting the road. Midway through our meal, Miles' cell phone rings. Paula had called to inform us that Bryce and Tony headed back due to the weather. In turn, our surprise plans were crushed. Another *sigh*. After lunch we went to the public library attempting to tackle our homework. We accomplished a little bit, but not as much as I would have liked. Homework on a Sat. is pretty depressing.
Sunday: Miles and I went to church. Well, in the basement of the church there is a little area that has free clothes. Miles cannot resist free clothes. He ended up with a new suit coat that is orange and brownish~ plaid, and a trench coat type thing, that's a grayish color. I ended up with a pink sweatshirt with a buffalo on the front and a weird 70's outfit, that maybe a school teacher would wear. I am quite intent on looking my best, so I am unsure as to whether or not the items I picked will be worn. Miles on the other hand, has already worn his coat...which looked HOTTT:):):)
That was my weekend in a nutshell, minus a few laughs and tears.
This week is pretty crazy for me, so I hope I will be able to post as much as I did last week.
God Bless You All.

I hate the smell of Subway. I just finished consuming mass quantities of bread, meat, and cheese, and now the stench is infiltrating my nose.
Perhaps I should explain, I worked at Subway for 8 months. "Yes, Megan had a job for 8 months..." Well, after sacrificing myself to the common people, so they would have food to eat and a nice, warm place to sit, I reeked of Subway. The average citizen doesn't notice this intoxicating fume, but I on the other hand, am consumed with it. It burns my nose and makes my stomach churn.
I swear, throughout those long, endless 8 months, my whole wardrobe smelt of rancid ass. Actually it was more of a mixture of sandwich parts (ie: meat, cheese, veggies), mayo, mustard, cleaning solvents (ie: bleach, dish soap), etc. I am sure that you all think I am over-exaggerating, but I swear it is the worst smell ever. No one else, but us tireless Subway employees, notices this "fragrance", but I can assure you, this foul odor is something you would never want to encounter.
I should be doing algebra, because that is what responsible college students do...but instead I am sitting in this desolate corner typing to my invisible audience. I would do my assignment, had I not lowered myself to having Subway for supper after Open Mic Night (which Holly and Bob ROCKED). I wonder if I could explain to my professor that without realizing it, until it was too late, I HAD SUBWAY! Sure she wouldn't understand...But I honestly can't concentrate on anything but the "rancid ass" smell. I swear, that after only being in there an hour, my body is soaked in Subway.
Dammit...I should shower...

I was sitting in biology 101 today...thoughts drifting, as they always do in that class. At first I thought about the usual..you know..."Driving long sharp nails through my eyes would be more enjoyable then this.." or "Does the person in front of me know that their dandruff is completely monopolizing their scalp..." but then my thoughts became more abstract. I don't know what must have triggered the thoughts that soon drifted my way, but none the less, as soon as they start coming there's no hope for returning to the chemical composition of atoms aka: lecture currently taking place. Here it is...stay with me:

What Would Jesus Do? Yes, good question, What Would Jesus Do? Now, I know I am not the only one who remembers those appalling bracelets. Who could forget such a travesty?! How come the bracelet makers didn't ask themselves What Would Jesus Do before releasing those awful, little things to the public. I am POSITIVE that Jesus wouldn't want his name turned into such a commercial enterprise. It is really sad. I mean really, EVERYONE had one. From the little Muslim boy next door, to the town harlot who received it as "payment", to the 30 year old stoner who still lives in his parents' basement. Hell, even I had one.
It's like Jesus was a trend, for like what...six months! It seems so sacrilegious. No one cared what it freakin' stood for. WWJD could have meant anything and people would have worn it, just because everyone else did. And where is Jesus now, he's no longer on people's wrist. He should have never been in the first place. Jesus isn't an accessory you take off before you get in the shower or before you go to bed. Jesus isn't a trend that lasts a couple months, and once the "cool" people stop acting like Jesus freaks, everyone else does too.
Lastly, they were atrocious. A horrible, horrible insult to the fashion industry. It's like when bar codes were huge for tattoos. Who the hell wants a bar code on their ass and who the hell wants 10 different colors of the WWJD bracelet just so it matches every shirt you own. Girls would wear five at once, like what...does that mean you love Jesus five times more then the girl that's wearing only one because her mom spent the welfare check on booze? NO, it's because at that point in time it looks cute with your new Abercrombie miniskirt and halter top. Jesus was just a brand, like Tommy, or Abercrombie, or American Eagle.
I am sure that people have long ago tossed their bracelets into the garbage and moved on to the next trend. Maybe there could be a What Would Buddha Do? And we can all act like Buddha is the best trend ever!

As I had promised, I am providing my multitude of readers (well, Jenny and Miles) with a post about how Guam is indeed still birdless.
I am giving all you wonderful people the opportunity to join Jenny and I over Spring Break, when we will bring life and sustenance to our dear friend Guam.
Guam has in fact been neglect of all bird life for years. Back during WWII, Americans "snuck" Brown Tree Snakes to Guam. Well, as horny snakes do, they reproduced and multiplied. And as fate would have it, their main source of food is the bird. In turn, there was nothing left to eat the insects. Guam is currently in a sad state, it is overwrought with spiders and snakes. There is not a single bird left...not even a little one. Now I know some of you are saying "Even birds die? Yes, even birds."
I believe, as the dominating life force, we are the only ones who can do anything about this situation. So, here is the plan (it's completely TOP SECRET):
Jenny and I...and whomever else takes pity on us, will go to the pet store, and purchase a crap load of birds. We will then board our plane with birds in tow, this is the tricky part. One has to be stealth and inconspicuous. As long as you can twirl your hair and pout your lips, you'll be fine.
Once in Guam, we will release of flying friends into the wild. This is where we need male assistance. THE SNAKES MUST DIE FOR THEIR SINS. The job of the boys is to dispose of the snakes while Jenny and I sip lemonade and tan. We will then enjoy the calming water and gentle breeze.
That's it...not too bad, huh?! It'll be a fun,little journey, and we will be helping our fellow mammals.
Let me know if you're interested. Meanwhile, if you are like me, and feel such overwhelming sadness about this situation, you can help even without accompanying us to Guam: http://www.rspb.org.uk

Wow. So this is the internet. I am such a virgin. Technology is really frustrating. Maybe if I would have spent more time at home throughout my teenage years, I would have known how to turn a computer on when I arrived at the most technologically advanced school in this whole freakin state. I was one of those people who discovered Napster right as it started to suck, like when they were going through all the lawsuits or whatever. I spent far too much time playing (hehehe, Jenny, you know what I mean), then at home, furthering my knowledge in the technological world. Oh, and I only recently discovered Kazaa and Winamp (like last year...only because one of my more technologically advanced/geekier friends took pity on my superficial soul). Instead of discovering the glories of the internet, I was out shopping, or partying, or doing whatever it was that I used to do, before graduating high school. Now, here I am, trying to appear knowledgable about computers, and drives, and disks, and https, and blog thingies, and posts, and viruses, and whatever else comes along with these...computer..things...
Oh well. For now I will continue to shove my floppy disk into the zip drive..and pray that Jenny will rescue me before my boyfriend finds out.